Cantor Rebekah Mirsky

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THE ISSUE IS LONELINESS

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I recently came across an article (yes, on Facebook) about
loneliness. My dear friend pointed out how ironic it was that I
was looking at this article on perhaps one of the worst
cultivators of loneliness.
Of course he was completely right. I often feel lonelier trying
to connect through social media than I would have if I’d just
stayed off and read a good book.
I have discussed with many people the double -edged sward
of face book or the two faces of face book. One the one hand I
love the fact that I can connect with relatives or friends that I
would not stay in touch with otherwise. One the other hand I
can feel really bad after wards comparing my life and my
success (or lack there of) to that of others. “Comparing my
insides with other people’s outsides” is a Molotov cocktail and
when you drink it the result is depression and loneliness.
It’s embarrassing to admit that you are lonely. It suggests that
you are unlikeable or unable to make friends. Or it suggests
that you are needy and need constant company or validation.
That’s ridiculous though, because it’s simply part of the
human condition. Whether you are in a relationship, part of
couple, or single or somewhere in between, we all experience
it. Though it is common, it is also a precursor to more serious
problems. The article that I read said that it shortens your life
span.
So what is the solution? I made a suggestion that we should
have groups where people just come and talk about issues.
I think that synagogues (and churches or any other spiritual
structure) are an appropriate place to start addressing and
combatting loneliness. To be completely honest, I no longer
work in synagogues full time or enough to suggest this kind of
programming. One of the reasons is because of my particular

Issues, I did feel isolated and alone in any institution. I feared
my childhood issues and adult mistakes in navigating my life
would make me “too weird” to feel comfortable there.
So many people fear this. In this frightening time I feel that it’s
up to us to combat loneliness whenever we can. If you are able
to facilitate a group where people get a few minutes to talk,
commiserate and share their wisdom and strength. I would be
happy to facilitate such a group. So if you are reading this and
feel that would work in your place of worship let me know.
A feeling that no body could possibly understand what we are
going through can only precipitate hopelessness suicidal
thoughts.
I believe everyone has his or her own version of feeling this
way.
It’s not a crime or an embarrassment to be lonely. It’s
simply a by-product of our humanity. I don’t think it’s that
difficult for us to begin to mitigate these feelings and to help
each other along the way. What do you think?

Small Victories

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For a while I’ve been staring at my guitar as if she were an enemy.

   It often happens to me after I record an album that I suddenly feel like I need to hibernate. I get the feeling that I will never write another piece of music again.

  I have to admit that this feeling is made more pronounced by social media. If I don’t get the likes I want or if I’m not getting the response that I had hoped for. I will sink into a depression of sorts. It makes me so angry that this happens because I know that is not the initial reason for my creating.

 I have been writing poetry since I was 8. I have been writing songs since I was 17. I have made seven complete albums.

 I did it, not to sell albums or to get people’s approval. I did it because it was the way I expressed myself, got through the pain of dating, unrequited love, the loss of my father, loneliness and other things.

 Then when I started to study prayer my writing shifted.  It did not become less personal, because in my opinion, prayer is extremely personal. However it became a way for me to pray and to understand the divine and to help connect others to prayer. Prayers were a puzzle and I wanted to put the pieces together in a way that illuminated and made them more relevant and meaningful.

When I go back to my original reason for writing, it does not really matter how many people listen to it or praise it or publish it.  It is just my way of expressing myself. If I let social media and comparing shut me down, I am denying one of my own true beliefs. Art for it’s own sake is, holy, vital to the life of a soul. Even if that soul is my own.

  I would love one day for my music to resonate and for more people to listen and be moved. In the meantime I have determined that to stop for a perceived lack of interest would be sad at best and at worst a bad example for others who continue to put heart and soul into what they do.

 May we go on creating because are souls are here to that.

      Wishing everyone love and inspiration,

     Cantor Rebekah Mirsky

Now What?

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​As the election results were coming in I began to panic.
I had the distinct feeling that life as we know it would change and not for the better.
When the results came in I leaned in my husband and cried and then was silent for the rest of night.

When I woke up in the morning I knew that I had to go to work. I work at Beit Teshuvah which is a treatment facility for addicts. I was thinking I would wear black…

And then I realized that I couldn’t. I don’t have that latitude. I am a member of the clergy and my job is to be a light in the darkness. I am called upon to be a beacon of hope. So .. I put on a red dress (this is called contrary action) and I sat down with my first client.

Never have I been so grateful for my role. Never have I been so grateful to be of service.
If you are cantor, a rabbi, a teacher, or a counselor, right now, consider yourself blessed.
You have the unique opportunity to impart your wisdom, your values or love and kindness, justice
Mercy, to the people you serve.

Synagogues and Jewish institutions are ever more important as places of safety and places to be yourself
and to learn how to treat others.

Yes, something real as happened and it is also true that we can love harder, stand by what we believe in and be imbued with yet a greater sense of purpose. This means encouraging people to stand up for what they believe in and to pursue the justice.

Elul -Tend Your Garden

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I love the month of Elul, the month before the High Holidays.
I like to take the time to examine, to renew, to discard all the elements of my life that I forget to look out on a daily basis..

This year I took up gardening. It’s a tactile reminder that we have to pull out weeds ( toxic people) or they take over.
We have to water (self care and hydration) more often then we think we need to. We have to cut and trim leaves (daily maintenance) and sometimes we have to throw away the plant and start from scratch (quit a job, leave a relationship)

My garden is really just a few herbs and some flowers on my porch as I live in an apartment. However, it is my garden and I really am quite proud of it.

This month of Elul, take the time to tend to your garden.
Allow yourself to take tender care of your soul, your mind, you heart. This includes, unfinished business, the little voice that tells you that something’s not quite right. Love yourself and everyone around you enough to do this. It’s totally worth it.
You are beautiful and your life is profound.

Mother’s Day

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Mother's Day Rose
1/7/2015

I had posted earlier on Facebook that mother’s day is a very loaded day. While it is a secular holiday, in some ways I think it would be better as a spiritual holiday because we have so many issues around the role of mother and motherhood.

I myself am grateful for my own mother. She is the one I can openly brag about my accomplishments with.
She is the one that I can torture with my tales of woe because she cares that much. She is the one I got my best qualities from and ( sorry mom) some of my worst.

If we did this right everyone would tell me how they are feeling about any aspect of this day. Please enjoy a song I wrote for my mom just weeks after we lost my dad.

I welcome all comments.