For a while I’ve been staring at my guitar as if she were an enemy.
It often happens to me after I record an album that I suddenly feel like I need to hibernate. I get the feeling that I will never write another piece of music again.
I have to admit that this feeling is made more pronounced by social media. If I don’t get the likes I want or if I’m not getting the response that I had hoped for. I will sink into a depression of sorts. It makes me so angry that this happens because I know that is not the initial reason for my creating.
I have been writing poetry since I was 8. I have been writing songs since I was 17. I have made seven complete albums.
I did it, not to sell albums or to get people’s approval. I did it because it was the way I expressed myself, got through the pain of dating, unrequited love, the loss of my father, loneliness and other things.
Then when I started to study prayer my writing shifted. It did not become less personal, because in my opinion, prayer is extremely personal. However it became a way for me to pray and to understand the divine and to help connect others to prayer. Prayers were a puzzle and I wanted to put the pieces together in a way that illuminated and made them more relevant and meaningful.
When I go back to my original reason for writing, it does not really matter how many people listen to it or praise it or publish it. It is just my way of expressing myself. If I let social media and comparing shut me down, I am denying one of my own true beliefs. Art for it’s own sake is, holy, vital to the life of a soul. Even if that soul is my own.
I would love one day for my music to resonate and for more people to listen and be moved. In the meantime I have determined that to stop for a perceived lack of interest would be sad at best and at worst a bad example for others who continue to put heart and soul into what they do.
May we go on creating because are souls are here to that.
Wishing everyone love and inspiration,
Cantor Rebekah Mirsky